Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Neglected Blog

Yes I know, I am very overdue for an update. Thanks for the reminder Penny.

I do get very bored with this blog sometimes. I am not a natural writer so just can't be bothered sometimes. I really admire people like Chris H who updates her blog several times a day. I'm more a reader than a writer - LOL!!

I'm up and down with my weight loss again. I have stayed the same, lost and gained over the past 3 weeks but have still managed to stay just above the total of 25 kgs lost. I know girly issues have a lot to do with this but I also have had trouble staying on track so no excuses here. I am taking it one day at a time. Tracking has been perfect the last 2 days so we'll see what tomorrow brings. I'm not stressing about it.

Nothing hugely exciting happening here. Nikki's netball has finished for the winter season so that has freed up Saturday afternoons. Jarryd is still playing soccer until mid September and then we are sport free on the weekends.

We have had our share of winter sickness. Jarryd is my worry at the moment. He picked up a virus a couple of weeks ago which triggered his asthma. We went to the doctor and he told us to get straight on to the puffers. Flexotide - a preventer and ventolin 3 times a day. His main symptom was a dry cough which got better but over the last couple of days has got bad again. He was hospitalised when he was 4 with asthma but has been ok since then. No real flare ups so we took him off the preventer after discussions with the doctor. He is well and truly back on it and I think he will be every winter now. We'll see how he goes during spring and summer. I am well and truly over winter now. Roll on summer and some hot weather. My poor baby is coughing in his sleep as I type. Might be a trip back to the doctor tomorrow I think.

Steve and I are going through a rough patch again. He went away for work last week and I did miss him. Since his shed has been rebuilt, I just don't see him. He has his computer set up out there with his music library and I know he is still trying to set things up but I seem to be getting the blame for me not making the effort to spend time with him. Well hello, I know where I would rather be on a freezing cold night. In the lounge in front of the tv with the heater going. He is very welcome to come and join me but the thought doesn't enter his head. Ashleigh made a comment the other night which hit home. She said she liked it better when daddy didn't have a shed because he was inside most of the time with us. Most nights he doesn't even come in to say goodnight to the kids. Very sad really.

I know people don't change and he has never been one to communicate his feelings but I really thought after the counselling, he would make more of an effort to talk to me. Just isn't happening. I find more things out through friends than I do from him. He just tells me, when pushed, that he thinks nothing has changed in our lives. Well I say the same, nothing has changed on his part either. We are still living seperate lives in the same house with the occasional intimate moments. Very occasional.

I am reaching that time in my life when things are probably starting to change. The dreaded menopause. My periods are becoming more irregular. This month it came a week early and was really heavy. Steve just doesn't get what is going on with me. I guess not too many men do understand womans issues. Sex is the last thing I feel like sometimes. I know this is also a reason my weight is up and down so much.

I got home last night from my meeting and Steve asked how I went. I told him I had gained this week and his response was that I was very bad and made a big deal of how he wasn't allowed to have a cigarette so why was I allowed to gain weight. He gave up smoking nearly 12 months ago. I was very hurt by his comments and just don't understand why he has to compare my weight loss with his giving up cigarettes.

Ok enough about that. I don't think I will ever understand how his minds works and he probably thinks the same about me - LOL!!

I finally did my tax online and we are going to get a nice big return. We were thinking of going to Thailand in March but that may have to be postponed to later next year. So we will definitely have a family holiday possibly during the Christmas school holidays. I so need a holiday. It's been nearly 2 years since our big Queensland holiday. I would love to go back up to the Whitsundays so we shall see what is on offer.

I have a couple of mini breaks coming up. A trip to Melbourne with the girls in mid September and a 3 days break in Mildura in mid October that Steve booked ages ago with one of those travel auctions on TV. I am actually looking forward to it. Probably just what we need. A weekend away just the 2 of us.

OK I won't promise when I will be back. But I do promise to post some photos next time. I just went and got the camera to see if there were any decent ones to upload and there is nothing. So I will take the camera with me in the next few weeks and take some interesting photos.

Til next time..........

9 comments:

Martine said...

Hi Tina

I think I am starting menopause as well - I will have to deal with the not having kids thing now ! I know my weight loss has been slow and when my period is due it does make a difference with my weight (mine arrived today) so fingers crossed all goes well tomorrow night for me. Chat to you about all this and all things WW on the 23rd. Take care Mx

Chris H said...

Friggin Menopause, don't even get me started on THAT issue!

Men.. yours sounds like a right prick (sorry for being so blunt).. but to me it looks like he wants a seperate life, seperate house even.. not just a bloody shed. Do you even know what he's getting up to on that computer of his.. out in his shed where you can't see him? I have an evil mind.. I know.

It is sad for you and the kids not having a loving husband/father who wants to spend time with you more than anything else. That's what we all DESERVE for F*#k's sake!

As for blogging.. I update so often cos it's my way of reaching out to people, otherwise I would be all alone during the day! And that ain't so nice. I like how it makes me feel a part of a widers community, and liked for who I am.
That's all.

Chris H said...

Shit, I just read what I said... SO SORRY if I offend you! I don't mean to... sometimes my mouth gets out of control and I say what I really feel.

Tina said...

LOL Chris, you didn't offend me at all. That's what I love about you.

I totally agree with what you are saying. He doesn't have the internet connected out in his bloody shed or I would be concerned.

I think you've summed it up. It is sad. He is the one missing out and I am sick of trying to make him happy by giving him what he wants!!

Chris H said...

PHEW! So glad you took my comment well.. sometimes I really can put me foot in it!

Trish said...

Tina

Sorry to hear that things are not travelling too well with you.

I hope that things improve on both the heath and personal level

Trish

Tania said...

Big hugs Tina! I was so sorry to read that things haven't improved with Steve, I know how much you've been through with this situation over the last year or two.

You are one of the greatest people i've ever met, your kids are 3 of the most lovely, well behaved kids i've ever met, Steve really doesn't realise how good he's got it! You know i'm always willing to listen if you ever need to talk.

Kate said...

Keep at it Tina, you can do it! You have come sooo far.

Don't worry about the blog, just write when you have the time, all your followers will still be here! ;)

So sorry to hear Jarryd has been so sick, poor lil kid! Hope he's feeling better now.

Things with Steve don't sound great... I don't know how you do it. You're such a lovely lady and deserve the world. I hope he will continue with the counselling, for everyone's sakes :(

Big hugs to you, K xx

Jadey 0:-) said...

I'm sorry to hear so much shit us going on for you right now hun. Life is abitch sometimes and it all seems to hit us at once.

I hope things improve for you rather quickly.