Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Struggling

Yes I am struggling!!

I have been on this weight loss journey a million times now. My best results have been between 10-25 kgs. But............................................

I get to this point and go back to a lot of my old bad habbits and I can feel myself slipping into those bad habbits again. I have lost 21.2 kgs so far but have lost the plot since easter. Well maybe I am being a little hard on myself because I have not put any weight back on, just not losing any either. Since I posted the picture of myself in my new jeans, I have had so many wonderful compliments and I thank everyone for that. But it's had a negative impact on me. It's like my head is saying you look great so you can eat what you want again. What's with that???

I have been sneaking the kids easter eggs and have now asked them to hide them or there will be none left - LOL!! Chocolate is my new best friend. I am craving it every day. And I feel I have no control over it.

Anyway this is not a cry for help. I know what I have to do and I will do it. I am proud that with all the crap I have eaten in the last 2 weeks, I haven't put any weight back on. Time will tell when I weigh in tomorrow night. I stayed exactly the same at weigh in last week which I was very happy with because of all the chocolate I ate over easter.

I won't give up. That is not an option. I just need to work through where my head is at right now and get past it. Any advice would be very welcome.

Onto other things............

Nikki is starting netball again this Saturday. But, she had training on Monday night and her ankle was a bit sore which it has been on and off for a few months now. She didn't make it through the training. By the middle of the session she couldn't even walk properly. I took her to the doctor last night and he thinks it could be tendon related and we have to go for an ultrasound next week. So she is very disappointed. First game Saturday and she will be watching on the sidelines. We won't know anything until after the ultrasound next Wednesday.

The insurance claim is progressing. The shed has been demolished. A much bigger job than anyone imagined. It took them nearly 3 days just to clear all the crap out and then a day to pull it down. We have had the go ahead for the new shed to be built so now just waiting for paperwork to come so we can sign and get it back to the contractor. In the mean time, the pool filter is not running because the pump is stuffed. Luckily it's not hot or the pool would be well and truly green by now.

We have been paid for all the contents by the insurance company and Steve has been shopping. I have had to stop him because obviously we've got no where to put anything so there are boxes everywhere in the house. We also managed to upgrade the home fridge and tv and the ones we have in the house will go into the shed. So I'm happy, a new 2 door fridge and an LCD TV for me!!!

It's my birthday on Saturday. How did that roll around so quick?? I've asked a few friends out for a Thai banquet at my favourite thai restaurant so it should be a great night. It will be a big day. Mum wants to do brunch and then Nikki wants to watch her netball team who are playing on the other side of town, then dinner.

I'll be back after tomorrow night to update my weight loss/gain.

11 comments:

Kate said...

Chin up Tina... I know what you mean, I have been there myself far too many times. Take it easy on yourself and just keep moving.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Wish I was coming to the thai banquet! ;)

K xx

kazz said...

Hi tina - I did answer u on the ww forum but what i didnt mention was that if u do wanna chat to someone seeing as i am going thru what appears to be something similar if you wanna email me to chat feel free princesskaryn@optusnet.com.au

Danni said...

Tina,

I feel like I know exactly how you are feeling. I wanted to email you, but could not find your email address either. Can you perhaps email me please? dannisayshello@hotmail.com Am about to try you on facebook. xoxo

samantha said...

Hey Tina
I know we spoke at lengths about how we are feeling at the moment but the good thing is you havent gained so keep on doing what you are doing and your head will catch up when you are ready, I've realised the more I make an issue of it the more it does my head in!!LOL But we have got a great goal in Thailand to work towards and I know with the support of your family and us ww'ers buddies we can get through this and look fab for Thailand!! Sam xox

beetricks said...

I have some advice!!!!

I don't think it's a matter of willpower. When I got to this point and started exactly the same behaviour it was because my body wasn't getting the nutrients it was needing and I would eat, eat, eat but not enough of what I needed was getting into my belly! Looking back at my food diary now with my dietician it was Omega 3 and protein I was struggling with - but, unable to recognise that, I put it down to me being weak and not really wanting to be thin. What is your diet like? Perhaps you could track in Calorie King for a day or two and see if you are getting enough fat (especially Omega 3!) and protein. Are you having enough veggies everyday? I can't believe it's your lack of drive!!!!

This is my new blog too...hope to see you over there!

Chris H said...

Hope you get over the diet hump soon.
Lots of fun shopping.. ooo I envy you.. even though you had to lose your shed and contents to be doing it! DERRRR.
Saturday... have a wonderful birthday!

Jenny said...

I know exactly how you feel Tina. I've floundered since Christmas. It's so hard once you 'break' out of your 'healthy' habits. Just remind yourself how good you felt with the weight coming off. Be rest assured that the first few days without chocolate will be hard, and then it won't be an issue for you anymore. Very wise for the kids to hide it from you. Why have the stuff around? Hope tomorrow is a better day. Your birthday dinner sounds lovely - something really nice to look forward to.

Tania said...

Tina - I question whether anyone with a lot of weight to lose hasn't experienced what you're going through now - I know I have!

I believe the secret to it lies in what you do next and you have so much strength and determination that I know you'll get through this.

My advice would be to make a list of what you want to change/improve and then focus on one at a time, one day at a time! Take the chocolate for example - tell yourself that tomorrow you will have none, it's only one day, then make it 2 days etc - then when you've lost the urge for chocolate focus on the next one!

Complacency can be a huge stumbling block - as can many other things but you know what, they can only be stumbling blocks if you let them.

I've been lucky enough to see you regularly on your journey since you started last October and the transformation in you is astounding - be proud of yourself mate, you're achieivng great things and that's worth so much more than the food you're eating.

You'll get there, I know you will - and what better challenge to set yourself than to break through that 25kg barrier to start with!

Joanne said...

I can hear that guilt when you talk about the chocolate. Remember, guilt makes us fat and the only thing we can change about the past is how we let it affect the future.
So, you ate chocolate. BIG DEAL! You have just been testing out maintenence!
Onward and downward!!
Joanne.
PS now I am truely going to bed (damn blogs are addictive) lol

Cinders said...

Hey Tina - you're doing a great job. I know what you mean about the compliments, they can have such a crazy effect.

Jadey 0:-) said...

I have fingers crossed for your daughter. Netball is a nasty game. Ankle and knee braces are a must!

Good luck now you are back on track xoxox