Things are Good

Firstly a huge thankyou to everyone who has left comments and sent emails to me this week. I have been an emotional mess and your comments have really helped me realise that I am not alone in whatever decision I make now or in the future.

Steve and I have worked our way through things for now. I have made an appointment for us to see a counsellor in about 3 weeks and he is totally agreeable to this which I know is the first step. When Steve got home from work Monday, he was carrying a huge bunch of flowers and he gave me a card which was amazing. The wording was so perfect and he had obviously put lots of thought into it. Inside he simply wrote: 'I am sorry for hurting you so badly. I am a fool' We both had a cry and he listened to every word I had to say without saying a word himself which was the total opposite of what had happened the previous day. To Steve's credit, he can apologise and admit when he is wrong and god knows I'm not perfect either so we have lots to work through. We need to get to the bottom of why he is feeling the way he feels. For example, when friends ask how he is going, his answer is always - "Married with children" and it's not in a good tone. So we are going to get to the bottom of why he is feeling like this all the time.

I had a great day today. It was my birthday. Yes I am an Anzac baby. My trip to Melbourne is my present but the kids all made cards and presents. I got popsicle stick picture frames and Nikki put a photo in hers of me and Steve on our wedding day which made me cry again. Good tears though. We went out to lunch with my side of the family. There were 13 of us all up. We went to Cafe Primo which is a chain of cafes here in Adelaide. The meals were all really nice and huge serves. Prices were good. They had a range of specials at $8.90 and then other meals from $10.90 - $13.90. But boy did they make up for it with the drink prices. Steve went to get the kids a soft drink each, a glass of wine for me and he had a beer and got charged $25!!!! Next time we'll all drink water - lol.

My sister took Nikki shopping on Monday and bought her a dress from Supre. You can see it in the photos which I took on our new digital camera. Yahoo, I can post photos again. She is 10 going on 18. I told her she needed boobs to wear that dress because she kept telling us she looked like Marilyn Monroe. Ashleigh took a photo of me that I didn't think is too bad so at last you get a photo of me as well instead of just the kids all the time.

So now it's only 9 sleeps until my trip to Melbourne. I am really looking forward to catching up with my bestest friend Lee. We don't get to see each other very often, but when we do we never stop talking. There will be so much to catch up on. Also Kate is organizing a lunch somewhere on Saturday 5th May for the Melbourne bloggers so hopefully I will get to meet a few of you. I will post where and when as soon as I know.

I'm still here

I'm really sorry it's been so long between posts. Truth is I just don't feel like posting. I am still battling with getting back on track after easter. I have put on a couple of kgs and it's doing my head in. I couldn't even face the scales this morning.

And to make matters worse my marriage is in real trouble. This might be a shock to some people who read my blog but it has been going on for a while. It has even got to the stage where I have spoken to my children about life living away from daddy and let me tell you it is heartbreaking.

I have lots of things to work through so I will be back with some answers very soon.

I don't think many people even read this anymore so maybe I am just talking to myself. Thanks to the wonderful people who do comment. You know who you are.

I'll be back soon.

Over for Another Year

Thank goodness easter is over. We have enough chocolate in our house to start a shop. It was Steve's birthday on easter sunday and he got double the chocolate. The picture of the kids and him, he had just woken up so that's his excuse for having his eyes shut - lol.

After I took the photo of Jarryd with his big chocolate frog, our digital camera died. The pictures are all fuzzy with lines through it so I had to resort to the old film camera. It makes me appreciate digital technology.

As you can see by the photos, the kids were very spoilt by the easter bunny. Jarryd woke up at

1.30am and sneaked out to find the easter bunny had been and Steve asleep in front of the TV. I think we eventually got up around 7am so I guess it could have been worse. We went to stay at Steve's parents who live in a beautiful coastal town 2 hours from Adelaide. It was the most wonderful, relaxing weekend and the weather was perfect. Unfortunately we didn't get over there until 5.30pm Saturday afternoon because Nikki had an ice skating party Saturday. I wish we could have stayed longer.

I must confess to eating quite a lot of chocolate but I decided I wasn't going to stress about it and I was going to have a week off of the scales. I jumped on the scales this morning to a 1.5 kg gain but I don't care. Easter is for enjoying and I enjoyed.

Nikki had her netball breakup last Tuesday and she came home with the best and fairest trophy for her team so she was thrilled. It was well deserved because it has been a horrible season with a lot of girls pulling out but Nikki stuck at it and it paid off.

I am having trouble finding enough daylight hours to walk now that daylight saving has finished. By the time I get home from work 3 nights a week and organize dinner, it is dark and I won't walk in the dark by myself. I have to make a huge effort to get back on track and walk at least 2 nights a week and both Saturday and Sunday. I haven't walked for nearly a week and already I am starting to feel like I have the 'can't be bothered' attitude.

School finishes here on Friday and then the kids are on holidays for 2 weeks. I can't have any time off so Steve is going to take a couple of carer days and I have a wonderful 22 year old next door neighbour who will help me out for a couple of days. And my wonderful mother will do the rest. She always takes the kids to the pictures a couple of times during the holidays so I'm sure the time will fly.

And then it will be May and I am off to Melbourne. I can't wait. Of course I love my husband and children more than anything in this world, but I love having time away with my friends. I think that is a mother and fathers right - to have time out. It's our reward - lol.

Busy weekend

This weekend has flown by. We were so busy. We had a very active weekend which was good.
It started Friday night when I caught up with a couple of friends I have made through a weight loss support group I belong to. We had dinner together and we all had great meals. I had the warm chicken salad which was yummo. Thanks for a great night Karen and Pauline.

I weighed Saturday morning and lost 700g so I was very happy with that. I also discovered that I am the lowest weight I have been in about 12 months so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

Nikki had a bowling party to go to in the afternoon so I took Ashleigh and Jarryd too and we went bowling as well. I can't believe I left my camera at home because Jarryd was priceless. They both did really well and I think mummy should have had the bumpers as well because I got beaten by both of them. Steve had to stay home and fix up his old motorbike so we can sell it. I put 3 months rego on it nearly 3 months ago and it's still sitting under the carport. So I had to crack the whip - lol.

We had to look after my nephew for my sister after bowling because she had to work so we all walked down to the beach playground. I'd forgotten how hard it is pushing a pram especially with a nearly 3 year old in it. The kids had a fantastic time with their cousin. I just wish I had half of their energy.

My mum has been in Canberra for a week and we had to pick her up from the airport at 7pm Saturday night so by the time we got home and had tea it was about 10pm. What a day!!

Then today, I was up early to go to the markets. I tell you I turned that alarm off 3 times and if I wasn't going with a friend I probably would have stayed in bed this morning. Then Tania picked me up at 10am and we went for a gorgeous walk along the beach front. It was a perfect day today and there were so many people out walking, it was a great feeling to be part of it. Thanks Tania. It's nice to have someone to walk with other than the kids. Don't get me wrong, I love walking with the kids but they are always stopping for something. It was great catching up with Tania and we managed to sit outside the beach kiosk drinking coffee and talking. The best part was no kids for a couple of hours - lol. Time for US.

We looked after my nephew again this afternoon so we decided to go to another beach playground (where I took the above photos) The kids exhausted me just watching them. They didn't stop. But guess what?? They are all tucked up now fast asleep.

And the best thing about the weekend???? My AFL team Port Power won and the Crows lost - lol.

I also want to mention that I am going to be in Melbourne the first weekend of May and some of the bloggers are talking about meeting up on Saturday 5th May to go 10 pin bowling and for lunch. I would love to meet up with anyone who is interested. Sounds like a good excuse for a Melbourne blogger get together. So let me know if you are interested. Some of the gabbers on Beckie's blog were talking about it the other night so it could be a fun day. Especially the bowling after my effort yesterday - lol.

We are going to Steve's parents in Stansbury next Saturday so the easter bunny will be coming to Stansbury for us this year. Then on Sunday - Easter day it is Steve's birthday so it will be great celebrating his birthday with his family this year.

I can't believe it is April already. Only 26 weeks and 5 days until we leave for Cairns - not that I'm counting.