Sunny (for now) Saturday

These are the photos that I took of our duck pond visit. The earlier photos are from Ashleigh's camera.

Jarryd in Steve's bike leathers!!

The girls are holding another blogger Tania's baby girl Mikayla.

How old is she now Tania? It goes to quick. And you can fill me in on how old she was in these photos.

Our afternoon in Stirling in the Adelaide Hills. Such a pretty town.

Jarryd and Ashleigh are having afternoon tea at a bakery.

It took me a while to download these photos. We are saving all our photos, so I will post some more archive photos later. It's so much fun to look back on the kid's early years.

I have 2 extra kids here today so I'm about to take them to the beach for a walk. I wonder how many will come home wet again??

Ashleigh played her last cricket game of the year this morning. Can't say I will miss the early mornings.

I had coffee with a blogger I met through the weight watchers boards. Joanne has lost over 30 kgs and is 1/2 way through her journey. I feel like I had a free counselling session because she was so inspirational. Thanks so much Jo, I had a great afternoon. We'll do it again.

We did take a photo but you'll have to visit her blog to see it. I hate it of course but I'll have another one taken next time we are together and see how far I have come.

And if anyone know how to link to another blog (so I could have linked Jo's and Tania's) please let me know.

I am definitely feeling fitter. I have gone from the couch potato stage to the starting to enjoy walking in the sunshine stage. Still slow compared to others but it will build up slowly.

Having said that, I am off for that walk.

Look What I Found in the Archives..................

I found some of these old photos of the kids

I can't believe Nikki is now 12, Ashleigh is now 10 and Jarryd is now 7.

Where did that time go?????

Nikki's 1st netball game. She was 5 or 6.

This is a better photo of my hibiscus. It is just stunning but the flowers only last on the plant about 3 days.

I am very happy to report I lost 900g tonight taking the total to 6.1 kgs in 4 weeks. I'm very happy with that.

I've been doing some christmas shopping on ebay and picking up some bargains. I got Nikki's christmas present that was in the Target catalogue last week for $100 on special for $60. Can't say what it is in case she gets to read this - LOL!!

Ashleigh's budgie has finally come out of the nesting box but we have discovered that it has a problem with one of it's legs. Instead of going under the bird, it is out to the side and after doing some investigation on the internet, it's called splayed legs. Unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it now so it is going to be a special needs budgie. If we had caught it while it was still in the nesting box, we could have tried tying it's little legs together and it could have corrected it. But because the bird is now nearly fully grown, it won't fix itself now. Ashleigh was so upset but she has realised that the baby will adapt and is already climbing the sides of the cage. It probably won't be able to sit on the perches like other budgies but she has already held it lots of times and it is becoming quite tame.

Can you believe the naughty mummy and daddy have been at it again and the mummy is sitting on 3 eggs again!!! We might have to seperate them if this keeps happening - LOL!!

Photo Post

Yesterday was interesting. Choices of meat at the bbq were sausages, patties and marinated chicken thigh. The salads were all swimming in thick, creamy dressings so I just had a small amount of pasta salad and a piece of chicken and a pattie. When I came home and tracked I was amazed to find the pattie had 10 points for 1 serve. It didn't say what a serve was but they were small patties so I counted 5 points. Needless to say I will not have a pattie again.

I went over my points for the first time today. Not concerned at all. I'm maybe 4 points over and I made that up by walking home from the waterslide which was about 40 minutes walk along the beach. Very nice. No-one wanted to come with me because they were so tired and I really enjoyed being alone. Of course I found a house I would love to buy on the Esplanade. Probably would go for $1.2 million!!!!!



I forgot to take the camera to the waterslide party yesterday. I am hopeless. It was a great day even though it was a cold start. Nikki and Ashleigh went on the waterslide but there were lots of little kids who came down with their dads and definitely didn't want to go back on again.

Father Christmas came and some of the presents were amazing. Jarryd got disc shooters that shoot out foam discs. There are 2 of them and Nikki and Jarryd spent ages when they got home rigging up a battlezone with chairs and blankets. Ashleigh got an electronic diary and Nikki got a lava lamp which she was disappointed with because she got one at the same party 2 years ago - LOL. There was a clown that entertained the kids. I wish my kids were little again. Nikki was so synical about this clown that had all the little kids in fits of laughter. Jarryd sat with the little kids.






This is at the magic cave when we went to see Santa. Sorry about the red eyes but I couldn't find my camera software.


























My sister made this pumpkin for Nikki's halloween party she had nearly a month ago now. She had about 12 friends and they spent most of the time in the pool. Absolutely no sense of feeling cold. It was 20 deg. We did have the spa on though to warm up.

















This is the most amazing hibiscus plant. When it flowers it has the hugest flowers. So hard to see in a photo but they are massive. Easily bigger than your hand outstretched.

As you can see, some of the girls were still in the pool including my crazy daughter Ashleigh in the middle of the pool.

These photos are all off of Ashleigh's camera. I finally got around to downloading the photos and then my camera went totally flat.

We live 10 minutes away from West Lakes and there is a lovely park and duck pond with walking trails and bridges. I wish I lived closer to walk around there every night. We went to feed the ducks and Ashleigh spotted this cute little baby duck. It was funny watching it dart around trying to get the bread. Entertained the kids for ages.

Great Week

Just a quick update to tell you about my weigh in tonight.

I was hoping for a loss but when they told me I lost 2.2 kgs I was in shock. I have now lost 5.2 kgs in total in 3 weeks.

So I'm very happy tonight.

Plodding Along

Things are no better and no worse here. We are still waiting for the phone call about the counselling but I am not holding my breath. If it was me, I would have tried someone else instead of just accepting that we are on a waiting list for god knows how long!!! But I am not doing it this time. It's time he took some responsibility. We are keeping it together for the kids but things are very tense between us. He still has made no effort to sit down and talk and I am not going to initiate it AGAIN!!!

Ashleigh still won't spend time alone with Steve. She has come to me for the 3 weight watchers meetings I have gone to and I just can't convince her to stay with her father. The other 2 are fine and things have improved there, but Ashleigh is such a different child. So sensitive and easy going but when things bother her, she is very clingy to me. I really need to look into some counselling for her.

Sorry again for the lack of photos. I still haven't got around to loading the software for the camera onto this new computer. In fact I still haven't got around to finding the software!!

We took the kids to the magic cave yesterday to see Father Christmas. Mainly because Jarryd keeps changing his mind and I need to know - LOL!! I was so pissed off with David Jones. They have banned you taking your own photos so I was quite prepared to buy some photos but after waiting in line for over an hour, we were told their photographs weren't working. When I asked 2 people if I could take my own photo, they told me I couldn't because it was against store policy. I spat it. Fair enough if their equipment is working but I don't think they can ban you if they can't take photos either. I was nearly tempted to ask Father Christmas but I didn't want to get into an argument with him!! I am definitely going to send a letter to David Jones management. And in the end Jarryd asked for a surprise because he couldn't decide. Nikki asked for a rip stick which is like a skateboard and Ashleigh asked for a bike.

In my second week of weight watchers I lost 300g which brings the total to 3 kgs. I always have a tiny loss in week 2 and it was also TTOM so I was ok with that. Bigger one this week.

Nikki had a birthday party to go to yesterday afternoon and when we dropped her off, the parents asked us to stay for a drink. They are good friends and have a heated pool so Nikki and Ashleigh both had a swim. Well a quiet drink ended up with us staying until around 11pm. And I did have a bit too much to drink. I don't think I would have gone over points for the day because I had only had fruit for breakfast and then hadn't had time to eat until we had a BBQ tea at the party. Needless to say, the wine went straight to my head because of the lack of food and now I feel like crap today!!

Ashleigh had her end of year dancing concert last Sunday and I was so proud of her. She is going through such a tough time at the moment and one of Nikki's friends who is in the same dance group told Nikki that Ashleigh was embarrassing because she kept forgetting the steps. I was furious when I heard that. Girls can be such bitches. Well she didn't make even 1 mistake and I was the proudest mum there!! I wish I could have gotten some photos in her costumes but they won't allow cameras in the theatre and I was too slack to get backstage photos. She has decided to have a year off of dancing because she has been doing it for 5 years and wants a break. Can't say I'm unhappy about that. It was becoming a chore to get her to practice every week and I can put the money into my weight watchers meetings now. Something for me at last!!!!!

I have done very little Christmas shopping. I have a few things on layby but I need to do a lot more. K-Mart had 20% off toys this week but I am just not going to get the chance to get over there. We had a huge day yesterday and today we are going up into the Adelaide Hills for a BBQ with Steve's golf club. I really could stay home. Might get over there one night this week.

Like most people at this time of the year, we have something on most weekends now until christmas. Steve's work are putting on a christmas party for the kids next Saturday at a waterslide which is very close to our place so I'm hoping for some warm weather next weekend. Then we have a surprise 40th and my work show and then Steve's work show for the next 3 weekends after that. Crazy time of the year.

I'll be back next week to let you know how week 3 weigh in goes.

Thanks again for all your support for the dramas in my life. It really means so much to have such caring friends.

Quick Update

Firstly I really want to thank everyone for their comment to my last post. I can totally relate to each and every one of you.

I know this is not an acceptable way of living for myself and the children. It has been going on for far too long and I can't do it anymore.

We sat the children down and had a good talk to them. They all told Steve how they are feeling and that they had been too scared to tell him the truth in the past. It broke my heart. Anyway it prompted Steve into making a phonecall and putting the wheels in place for counselling. I think we are on a waiting list which is typical!!

Things are still very strained between us because he still hasn't sat me down and tried talking. Like I said I'm sick of trying and things being ok for a couple of months and then it all happens again. He just can't communicate!!

Anyway I will wait until we can see the counsellor. I just can't face thinking about moving out or packing a house up before christmas.

He is going away on a bike rally this weekend and I think it is perfect timing. I just hope he can have a good think about things while he's away.

I really appreciate everything you have said. It's nothing I haven't thought a million times and I know this treatment is totally unacceptable but I just don't know how things are going to change.
Can people really change???

Anyway onto some good news. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I LOST 2.7 KGS THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!

Finally something to put a smile on my face.

Lazy Blogger!!

Yep, that's me - a very lazy blogger!!

One of the reasons I haven't updated is because we have had a few computer issues and apart from losing all my photos from the last 6 months, I haven't downloaded our camera software as yet.

I hate posting without photos.

Big news for me is that I have finally stopped procrastinating (sp??) and started weight watchers again. As I have said many times, I have absolutely no support in this family when it comes to weight loss efforts and I have finally realized that I do love the support you get from going to meetings. I have joined unlimited which only works out to $13.50 ish per week which is quite good. With that you get etools for free which is great for online tracking.

I know there are lots of bloggers out there that don't agree with weight watchers but I know it works for me if I stick to it. And after all, it is just sensible eating. Nothing more, nothing less.

I have changed my hours at work which now gives me time to walk to school and pick the kids up 3 times a week. Hey it's a start. I am soooo unfit!! I'll build it up very slowly.

The other big thing in my life at the moment is my marriage. Things aren't great - AGAIN!!

I honestly don't know what to do. I have tried so many times that I just don't know where to go from here. We had counselling 12 months ago which I instigated but got that thrown back in my face because the counsellor was on my side!!!! So we didn't go back. I have asked him to organize his own counselling and it hasn't happened.

We have honestly just grown apart. His children are scared of him and that scares me.

He wants love and affection yet I get no love or affection. And I am so sick of trying!!!

He doesn't talk!! He won't sit down and start a conversation. It always ends up with him yelling at me because his life is so tough. For example - picking up the dog poo, cleaning the pool and taking the bins out are his pet hates. I have so many chores I hate too but I don't complain about them. It's part and parcel of bringing up a family and running a household.

I know I'm not perfect but how do you live with someone who is so grumpy ALL the time??

I really don't know where that leaves us!! I still love him but it's not enough anymore!!

I have one request. I need so much support right now. If you are still reading and I know there are lots that are, please leave me a comment to let me know you are there. I love reading blogs and have made so many friends online. I have lots of people reading from overseas, but hardly anyone comments.

Please say hi!!!

And give me some advice if you have ever been in this situation.